


Who Am I ?

by a_crested_eagle



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Gen, Short, Short One Shot, a late night talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23400910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_crested_eagle/pseuds/a_crested_eagle
Summary: Orianna has questions about herself, Vi has no answers.
Relationships: Orianna Reveck & Vi (League of Legends)
Kudos: 8





	Who Am I ?

“Who am I?”

“Who are..? Orianna... You’re Orianna. The Lady of Clockwork, as they say.”

“That is not what I am asking.”

“Elaborate.”

“It is hard to explain.”

“Speak and I’ll help.”

“...”

* * *

“Since I became The Lady of Clockwork I have been trying to understand humans again. I used to be able to understand. Before. When I removed my human heart... I lost it. The connection. The understanding.”

“...”

“It was unexpected. All your thoughts are being processed in your brain. All your feelings are, in their basic forms, just chemistry. Reactions to outside sources, with two primary functions. To keep you alive and to encourage you to multiply. I believe this loss of understanding should have been gone when my brain was replaced.”

“They do say feelings come from the heart. You know what Cait says about me; I think with my heart, not with my head. She means that I act on feelings.”

“I have noticed the saying during my search. It is false, a phrase that does not make sense when taken literally. The human heart cannot think or give sensory inputs to other organs. The statement is false.”

“Well... Let’s talk about that another time. Back to the point, your problem is that you can’t... understand us? Not anymore?”

“Yes. But the problem arises earlier. Before I met you and Caitlyn.”

* * *

“When I left Corin’s workshop I was empty. I felt nothing. I had no opinions. Only facts. No drive, no objective. So I went off in search for my place in this world. As I walked the villages and cities, I noticed that I was treated differently. It was not simply because of my appearance, I have done tests that indicated that is not the case.”

“What kind of tests?”

“I once hired an arcanist to cast an illusion over me. He changed my appearance and my voice to that of a young woman. Humans did approach me, males especially, but they gave me weird looks when I spoke and those that stayed more, became increasingly uneasy around me. Later I came to the conclusion that I was missing something other than a common appearance. I was missing a personality, a character of any kind. I decided that creating a character would help me in understanding humans.”

“So you learned to act certain ways?”

“Originally. I spent some years doing that. People talked to me. I had conversations. I still could not understand them. Understand is a weak word. Hold...”

“I get what you mean, don’t worry.”

“Feel is a better one. I could not feel them. Most of the time I can decipher why this man did that or this woman acted as she did.”

“And the Piltover Police Force thanks you for that.”

“You are welcome. As I was saying, I could understand their motives. Most of the time. But there were times that their actions are so bizarre, so...”

“Stupid?”

“Nonsensical.”

“I prefer stupid but go on.”

“I have a memory from fifteen years ago that made me realize I was missing something.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“I... Do not.”

“Got it. So, you realized you were still missing something...”

“Yes. But I did not know what it was, so I returned to Piltover and simply observed people.”

“Ohooo... What did you found out?”

“Each of you is unique. But also the same. A group of three librarians look, talk and think similar. But one of them spoils his kid, another beats it and the next has not talk to his in days... Do you understand?”

“I think so... They come from the same group but all of them are individuals?”

“...”

“They walk in the same direction, but in different paths?”

“Yes. Individuals. Good word. I worked to become an individual too. Read books, travelled more, picked up the intricacies of the language in Piltover and incorporated them into my own way of talking.”

“You still need to work on that last one.”

“I am aware. My point is, I did as humans do since babies. I absorbed and copied my surroundings.”

“And you are an individual now. Someone with a personality.”

“Am I? Here we reach back to my first question.”

“I lost you.”

“If I am a collection of my surroundings, am I truly an individual? Is my personality my own or a mixed bag of influences from all over?”

“I...”

“I have wants and needs now. Are these truly my own? Do I want to laugh because I want to or because I’ve seen you do it and I want to fit in? Do I want to help people because I feel it’s right or because I’ve been told so? Do I...”

“...”

“Do I want to be yours and Cait’s friend because I feel like I love you two or because I have taught myself that people have friends so I must have some too?”

“Ori-”

“Am I myself or a collection of mismatched puzzle pieces forced together by a toddler? Who am I?”

* * *

There was a crack in the robotic voice when she repeated the last question.  
Vi got up from her seat opposite of Orianna. She passed the small round table with a single step.

She hugged her friend silently, tightly. There were no words she knew that could help Orianna. So she gave her the only thing she could. A tight hug, a warm embrace, the only way Vi could think to protect Orianna from these thoughts.

She hoped it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope it made sense.


End file.
